So I guess I'm just going to have to get used to going to cardiologists and doctors. My primary care sent me to a cardiologist at the Oklahoma Heart Hospital. I think I like this guy (as much as I can like docs). He was very kind, and looked me in the eye when he was talking with me and I liked that. Of course I gave them my standard "abnormal but not bad" EKG. I also explained about my meds and how the other doc wouldn't call me back. He told me not to trust a doctor who didn't call you back. (I was surprised.) He said it's an integrity issue and it sends the signal that they don't care when they don't call you back. I agreed. At the end of the appointment - he gave me a gentle hug and promised to take good care of me. That was nice I thought. (Even though I'm not too keen on "being taken care of.") My blood pressure was great- didn't even mention taking meds for that. I have to say that's a HUGE win. I believe the drastic ...

Okay so I tested up a belt in taekwondo over the weekend but it brought some emotions with it that caught me off guard. I actually bottomed out after I got home. Of course I was nervous about testing, but I've been told that just shows you care. I did okay and got the new belt....but I got really depressed afterwards. Why? I don't guess I know. The blue belt is the lowest rank of the advanced belts and just one step closer to a black belt. But for some reason instead of encouraging me - I found the opposite to be true. I began to doubt I could get a black belt. Honestly, I just bottomed out. I still have a long ways to go and many things to learn so I have no idea what was eating at me so. I really just felt defeated; with no justification for it. I also keep stalling out on my marathon training but mentally I'm still pursuing it. I know it's going to take longer than it does for most but I am determined to do it right this time. I really think I tried to cram a f...

The other day my grandson and I took an impromptu tour of a couple of playgrounds close to my apartment. He decided he wanted to run with Gigi.  So we ran! He also got tired and rode on my shoulders for awhile but then was all rested and ready to run again. It was a fun, active evening. Times like those seem like they are so purposeful and meaningful. Unlike many of the training routines athletes cling to. It was so enjoyable to just run with my grandson and have fun without feeling horrible physically. By the time we were headed home he asked me if he could be my running buddy. Of course I told him he could! Who could say no to that face? Here's to many more miles to run! The last few weeks for me have been very discouraging to be honest. (I usually am!) It seems like it's been one thing after another. As most of you know I am a caregiver for my adult son who has a TBI and he suddenly got sick and ended up in the hospital for a few days. Since he is nonverbal I don't l...

Tonight's 3 miles was shorter than I had planned for the day but I got caught up in work... hey, what can I say? I like to eat! However, it was a significant run for me. Here's why.... I have started setting goals for my runs and setting weekly workout goals as well. Plus I also started a "run streak" 5 days ago. I'm planning on seeing how long I can go and for right now I just have to do a mile a day to keep it alive. I'm also allowing myself to walk that mile for now as I gain stamina and momentum. Later on I hope it will become all running - but progress sometimes has to go slow. I'm learning to be okay with that. So tonight's run was day 5 of my running streak and puts me at 10 miles on the streak so far. Secondly, I was finally comfortable enough to run with one of the pre-programmed runs on my TM. I've been hesitant to try it since I've been run/walking it so much. But I chose a slow (yes even for me) pace and a very low incline. I ...

I hope your screen is big enough to see the faded out 1 - that's an 11:19. That's pretty slow for some of the young pups I know - but for a fat old lady diagnosed with congestive heart failure - it's good to see those double ones out front again. After nearly a year and a half of not feeling good, I'm finally feeling so much better. I'm still off my blood pressure meds and feeling wonderful still. I've been taking it easy but am feeling well enough to push it just a bit. How will I know my new limits if I don't? Three weeks of my meds and actually, my heart rate is still too low some nights to even take it according to the cardiologist. His orders were to not take it unless my pulse was at least 55 but most nights I'm running around 51 or 52. My blood pressure is totally fine too. No spikes! I'm so happy - and being so so good. I don't think I've ever used "happy" and "good" in a sentence in a positive connota...

I'm happy to report that my pulse and blood pressure have been holding steady inside the normal range. I've been more than religious about sticking to a healthy, clean and low sodium diet and I'm starting to realize the impact of these changes. However, I'm still moving forward with lots of caution and taking it easy to make sure I don't overdo it. Once I see the changes are working and I'm feeling better, it takes more discipline to hold back than it does to "make" myself exercise. I'm learning how to balance out resting, active resting, working out and running to my benefit. Yesterday I did an easy 5 mile run on the treadmill. I have started walking for 5 minutes to warm up and allowing myself time at the end to cool off. I also take at least the first mile very slow and easy. If I'm feeling off in any way I keep it slow and easy. When I feel pretty good I gradually increase and play with my speed. I was pleasantly surprised at how good I...

Whew! It's been a crazy few days but I think I'm over another major hurdle. I shared last week about my episode and now that's it is behind me and I can think more clearly I think I have come to some conclusions. First, my last 3 runs have been awesome! And I had a great time last night at taekwondo. No chest pains, no dizziness and even though I took it easy I had no difficulties at all. Well, except the fact that this fat old lady got her big toe caught in the pant leg of her uniform and jerked a toe out. Why can't I have normal injuries or at least noble ones? lol I've been spreading out my runs and it seems to be helping. I only run two days in a row. Overall my new strategies seem to be working but it's all new. I'm committed to the journey at this point and determined to be fit in the midst of personal struggles and physical roadblocks. I'm a thinker and a problem solver. Of course this leads to overthinking most of the time. But over the...

So I had a rough race, who doesn't now and then, right? Not really any big deal in the long run. (pun intended!) But running with a CHF diagnosis hanging over your head can really weight you down. It just makes a rough run more difficult to sort through - especially emotionally. But I'm done whining and griping and kicking myself. It's time to find and fix my mistakes, suck it up and move forward. My emotions have been all over the place and my thoughts went with them. I vacillated from one end of the spectrum to the other. If I couldn't even finish a half in a decent fashion what made me think I had any business training for a full? All the way to But I just did half a marathon - I'm already half way there - pretty or not.  Finally I decided to settle in the middle. I may not be ready for a full today , but I won't let that limit my tomorrow. I got out today for a three mile run and totally enjoyed it except for getting a little hot. There was a day I di...

So last week was a total wash-out - and I partly mean that as a pun because it's been flooding in my region. (smile) I started out okay but just kind of had one of my "bottom out" weeks. I did get in two back-to-back sessions of taekwondo on Thursday night and got a few miles in. I have no excuses except I just didn't feel well - and I am laying that "excuse" aside this week and planning on kicking butt. I think what is difficult is finding that fine between pushing myself to achieve my goals and overdoing it and getting myself in a bind. It's just plain frustrating. I'm doing things right but my body doesn't act like it wants to cooperate. It's like I do real good for a couple of weeks and then the bottom falls out. I'm actually not sure if it's something I need to just push through - or if that will be a major overdo -- I don't like those at all. They knock me out of the game for several days. So today I was cooking along real...

Okay - so I haven't messed up real  bad but I haven't been as careful in my eating as I should. I'm thinking the combination of slipping slightly on my diet and an overload of stress is messing with me a little bit. Since I have the adrenal gland issues (which is what is believed to be behind the congestive heart failure) stress wears me out more than anything. So tonight's run was blah! On my dieting - I've actually had a couple of big victories and my changes have stuck. I turned down BBQ from a local restaurant this week - and opted for a plain baked potato. Then today I was starving on my way home from picking my accessible van up from the mechanic but refused to take the chance at eating out. I had a couple of things in the fridge to eat and ate them once I got home and unloaded. That was hard but because of the lack of episodes and feeling way better I just didn't want to take the chance. The negative side - I've been eating way too much cheese; an...

Today I ran my 75th 5K. I didn't check to see how many races I've done overall, just 5Ks. I actually did pretty good. I had the best chip time of any 5k since my CHF diagnosis. I'm still really slow in comparison but I'm very happy to be under 40 minutes again. That just puts me closer to the 30 minute mark and my old PR which I honestly hope to reach one day. This week I did a total of 20 miles and completed my second week of marathon training. I'm very happy with that, but it sure got me to thinking a lot about the journey I've been on. Last year I remember doing this race, the Oklahoma Strong 5K and just not feeling good. I felt like I was very sluggish and it was actually cold last year. This year it was 72 at the beginning of the race - which is really hot for me anymore. Even though I slowed down each mile, I still had all 3 under 13 minute miles. I'll take that for today. I can't get where I want to be without starting where I am. Oh, I woul...

I'm pretty sure this is not an accurate blood pressure reading - but then I didn't believe the little machine when it was 212/110 either. Maybe it is at least close to accurate since I was exhausted when I got up this morning. But I had errands to run so I pushed my son in his wheelchair to the corner stores to pick up a few items. While I was in the store I passed by the BP machine and decided to see. I don't buy it, but at least it didn't err on the high side. So I treated myself to a cheese enchilada for lunch! I'm in an in-between spot emotionally right now. On one hand I feel like I am doing real well. I have my bp under control - I'm mastering my diet a little at a time and I'm feeling better. I actually feel like I have more stamina. Today I put in 5 miles on the TM and felt really good. The problem I'm having is that I have learned that feeling good is not a license to push too hard. It messes with my mind. I'm feeling good why can't ...

Ended up with an "okay" week as far as training goes. First week of full marathon training done!! And I stuck to my schedule too. I'm happy with that even though I did have two days of nothing - hope to fix that next week. I have the my calendar filled out with what's supposed  to happen, now to make it happen. I'm trying to do some gentle 2-a-days. We'll see. I'm actually starting to feel like I've been working out. I really can't explain it but I'm feeling better overall and I feel more "fit" even though I still look like a walrus. (That's going to change!) This week I played with my diet a little bit. I have been very careful to not overindulge in high sodium foods, but I did allow some small cheats. Here's what I've learned. I can tell a huge difference between allowing more salt from packaged foods versus having more salt added to my foods. I weigh in every single morning and I've been able to maintain real clos...

So I delayed marathon training by one week so it's time to get started. Tomorrow is my official starting date for full marathon training. I am using a 4:1 run/walk interval plan. It's Coach Jenny Hadfield's marathon training plan. It includes 4 running days and 2 cross training days each week with one total rest day. That's going to be my foundation. My 2 cross training days are of course taekwondo nights. Part of my plan includes NOT running on those days. Even when I am having a great day it can be too much too easily. This week I used as sort of a trial week. I set my goal miles (20) and tried to achieve them without overdoing it. You know what? I did it!  I spread out my workouts and threw in cross training and even an additional 30 minute cardio class one night. The cardio class is after my taekwondo class and I was playing it by ear. If I felt okay and did well in taekwondo - then I could stay for cardio. I did fine so I stayed. I did not push it as hard as the...

Okay - so I have to suck it up and admit that I overdid it yesterday. I actually made several mistakes that I have to correct going forward. I know I should not have run 3 days in a row and  even if  running 3 days in a row was okay - I shouldn't have gone for 6 and a half miles. Live and learn. I've been doing a lot of research about congestive heart failure and one of the signs of overdoing it is actually how you feel the next day. Well, I could tell yesterday afternoon I had OD'd on running. I did recoup pretty good though. However, today has been horrible. I am basically exhibiting all those  dreaded symptoms of CHF. I'm out of breath, have lots of chest pains and feel exhausted. I don't think I realized how much better I've been feeling overall; but it all comes back to me now for sure. With this new information I have a few things to work on. First of all, I need to get a solid marathon training plan instead of just flying by the seat of my pants. I wi...

I've actually had a couple of decent runs the last couple of days. Yesterday I did a 5-miler on the treadmill and did really good. I even took off for a little "run" for about 4 minutes or so toward the end. Good thing is - I didn't die! lol The true test though is the next day. If I am more out-of-breath and tired the next day I know I did too much. Well up until a little while ago I've had a really good day. I even got in a couple miles outside early this afternoon. Then I totally stressed out over some other things and the bottom fell out! I wish I could just pretend that I"m not having to deal with all this congestive heart failure stuff. I don't want to take medicine to live and I want to eat comfort foods when I want them! I'm tired. It seems like running looks just like the rest of my life - I work my butt off and never get anywhere. I want to just throw it all to the wind and go for a real run without worrying about getting dizzy, how high m...

What a frustrating week this has been! On one hand it was good since the cardiologist okayed marathon training. But my body has been saying "no" ever since! I really wish  this could just go away. Someone told me one time to wish in one hand and spit in the other and see which one fills up faster.  Well, I'm guessing that this is not going to disappear so I'll have to learn how to deal with it. I hate feeling like my runs are a fight to take every step and every breath. My runs and workouts this week felt like I had a boa around my chest compressing my lungs; and it felt like I was dragging an elephant behind me. Some days I had chest pains to go along with it - or even worse in my opinion is chest pains after finishing a good workout. Today I felt a lot better. Who knows what is actually going on with my body to make me feel horrible or good? Today's 3+ miles was pretty good and I wore my PEAR sports heart monitor to watch my heart rate. I started my higher d...

I had my cardiologist appointment this morning. Of course the number one thing on my list of questions was to ask if he would "okay" me to start training for a full marathon. He started out by explaining my condition to me - he's really good about that. He also asked how I'd been doing. I told him I have good days and bad days but that I was watching my sodium intake and my blood pressure has been real good at home. I also told him it had inched up over the last couple of days and since it was slightly elevated while there he is going to up my meds a little. He said this is partly because I want to step up my training. He doesn't want my heart rate going out the roof while training. He also gave me some very specific directions. He told me to go slow.  And he said I have to take it easy as I proceed but that I can continue training. Doc also said that I need to be especially careful about overdoing it; basically - don't.   So...this is pretty much verbatim w...

My head is going about 900 miles an hour! That may or may not be an exaggeration. I have a 10k tomorrow afternoon but with the last year's events and the latest diagnosis my head starts running long before the race. I have all these questions like Will I be okay this time? or Will I have a rough day tomorrow or a good day? What will I do if I'm having an issue? How much will I need to walk? These are all on top of the "normal" questions runners have prior to races. You know, like figuring out what to eat when and sorting through all our regular pre-race rituals. This race is an afternoon race so that by itself has its own dynamic. One second I feel prepared for anything and the next I do not. I worry that I've overdone it - then worry that I didn't train enough. - Just normal racing stuff! Add all the health issues on top of the normal stuff and my mind is a mess. lol! I have actually done well this week with my eating and I think I have finally adjusted...

This morning's run started out to be one of the most frustrating I've ever endured. First, I didn't do any type of exercise yesterday because I just didn't feel well. I really hate to admit it but it looks like days after good long runs are going to be off days. I've noticed that pattern already. That doesn't mean I can't enjoy a good long run; it just means I have to adjust my mind set to taking the day after off to allow my body time to recoup properly. That's what I did yesterday - it was rather forced on me - but I did take the day off. So this morning I got up thinking I still didn't feel good but I wanted to get a couple of mile in at least. I still need to build my base miles for marathon training. Once I got on the treadmill I realized it was not a good idea! I felt so sluggish. My motto is to use what my body gives me to reach my goals each day and I wanted to hit at least 2 miles today. I always start out slowly anyway but felt exceptiona...