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Pushing the Limits?

I'm pretty sure this is not an accurate blood pressure reading - but then I didn't believe the little machine when it was 212/110 either. Maybe it is at least close to accurate since I was exhausted when I got up this morning. But I had errands to run so I pushed my son in his wheelchair to the corner stores to pick up a few items. While I was in the store I passed by the BP machine and decided to see. I don't buy it, but at least it didn't err on the high side. So I treated myself to a cheese enchilada for lunch!

I'm in an in-between spot emotionally right now. On one hand I feel like I am doing real well. I have my bp under control - I'm mastering my diet a little at a time and I'm feeling better. I actually feel like I have more stamina. Today I put in 5 miles on the TM and felt really good. The problem I'm having is that I have learned that feeling good is not a license to push too hard. It messes with my mind. I'm feeling good why can't I go ahead and push to run harder, longer and faster? Because I have learned I will pay later if I do. So to keep from overdoing it and paying the toll tomorrow I held back....some.

It was a good 5-miler really. I started slow and once I got warmed up I found my speed for the day. That is the maximum that I feel I can go and not feel like I'm pushing to take every step. Then after 2 to 3 miles I really started feeling lots better. So I picked it up a little bit more. I am learning so much right now - like how to handle my limits and still be able to push. It seems like my stamina is getting a lot better. For instance last night at taekwondo everyone else was all out of breath and I was doing fine during our drills. It's probably a combination of two things. One I've learned how to manage my exercise in a way that I'm not killing myself to keep up with everyone else. And two - I feel better and I think I'm in better shape. My problem is holding myself inside those limits especially when I feel good. I'm just so darn competitive!

One thing that really bothers me is that I feel forced to take more days off. Like yesterday I had to rest from running to be ready to do a solid run today. I did some weights yesterday morning - I'm actually pretty sore from that. And then had taekwondo last night. But I was feeling really good so it was frustrating because I knew if I ran yesterday I took a chance at not having it in me today.

The good thing is I suppose that I am learning how to balance it out. Actually, I'm learning how to balance a lot of things out in life right now. Everyday I do some sort of cardio - not necessarily pushing too hard - just getting it in. That might be the bike, taekwondo or a walk through the park. When I skip it I actually feel worse the next day - that's just something I'm sorting out so I try to make sure no matter what I get in 30 minutes of at least light cardio daily.

It seems like the changes I've made to my exercise plan, marathon training and eating right are working. I've always been such a push-the-limits kind of person playing by all these rules is killing me. Well, I guess it's more accurate to say it's keeping me alive - and healthy. But inside I need to find some rules somewhere to break - just to feel normal again. lol I really am having to train my mind as much as I'm training my body. It's quite challenging but I'm up for it.
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