Tonight I was supposed to run the first 5K of one summer series I wanted to do. Well I had to opt out and to say I'm frustrated is a huge understatement. I had to go with what I felt was the wisest decision - the one that would be more likely to keep me running for a long time to come. It certainly hasn't been easy but at least I'm still vertical and no one's told me not to run. Here's how it all came down. As you know I've been struggling with running and just kept pushing forward unwilling to accept my diagnosis but trying to make adjustments to allow for it at the same time. Crazy right? Well - this week my charade caught up with me. I decided to go to the doc and tell her that I was trying to deny I had CHF. Basically, I went in and came clean with her and aired out my frustrations with the cardiologist who didn't call me back. Well, I certainly got busted. But it's going to work out for the best if I'm good.  And I plan on being good! My...

My son's case manager for his home health was here yesterday and took a picture of my nice little collection of medals. Why? We share a cardiologist and she took it so she could show him what I mean by running  just so he's clear on the matter. She thinks our definitions of running  might be a little different. There may or may not have been some bribery in there somewhere. lol I don't think she's really going to do that - but even if she does - I really don't care. I'm feeling so good and learning so much that I think I've got this! I haven't been perfect  on my diet but I've been doing lots better at managing my sodium intake. For awhile I really felt cheated in a way because I can't have all the "fun" stuff. I do still crave pizza by the way! No more call outs for Chinese or Mazzio's pizza and salad for me! (I had noted the salad from Mazzio's made my ankles swell the next day every single time.) I don't eat out of...

Is it a sin that I want to just throw on my running shoes, tie them up and go out for a run? It sure seems like my body is fighting that this week. I've "been good" in that I have taken it easy and I've eaten right (mostly). I learned early on that there is a lot more mental work needed to be a runner than I ever imagined. But complicate that process with a chronic condition and boy do I have to think a lot! Right now one of the most difficult mental challenges I'm facing is trying to schedule my workouts and runs. Since I never know how cooperative my body is going to be on any given day, it's hard to say that I'm going to do my "long run" today. Yesterday I figured I still wanted to get 20 miles this week and I had two days to do it. I needed 6 miles to get to 20.  I headed out for a run thinking I'd try for 4 which would leave just 2 to finish off on Saturday. My butt was dragging the whole way so I only got 3. And for now, I just have t...