Okay, fine. I guess I'm just going to have to be a happy "heart patient." On one of my last visits with my PCP, I argued that I wasn't one, but she just told me we could disagree on that point. Today, for the second time, I asked the cardiologist to reverse the CHF diagnosis. No surprise - it was a "no" again. His nurse did tell me I have the better kind of  CHF though and she agreed with me that it is mild - but must be managed. So I suppose I will just concede and be content to be a heart patient....at the Oklahoma Heart Hospital. Sigh. But there is some real good news today and still a few modifications to be made. He had all the results from my tests they did last week. The worst of it is not really all that bad - but several things that just need to be closely monitored. I guess I'll be making more trips out to OHH. I do have a leaky valve but it's not bad - just gotta keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't get worse on me. My blood...

So this week I'm taking it easy at the urging of my running buddies. They are tougher on me than my cardiologist or PCP, but I respect them. They are experienced and are looking at my present health issues from an objective point of view. I, on the other hand, are raring to go! That's what makes it wise to listen to others - there's a proverb that says there is safety in a multitude of counselors. I'm seeing the wisdom in that - even though I'm squirming to get back out there and see what I can do! So, now that I'm feeling better I have had a lot of time to think. The trouble with feeling better (not that I mind...) is that it makes it easy to forget how sick you were. I'm trying to sort everything out - my head, emotions, running, my life.... Earlier this week I decided to get online and find some evidence that would support me NOT having congestive heart failure. I mean, really, does it make any sense that I would have CHF and not have heart damage o...

I just finished up a 5K and had a blast! I was a little concerned about the heat tonight but it broke right before the race started and there was a breeze so it didn't end up being much of a factor. This is the first race I've done since I stopped taking the blood pressure meds. And you know what? I felt great!!! One thing I wanted to do was listen to my body and I really don't know how it's going to act  until I get on the course. I walked quite a bit and went out slow. Once I got warmed up and crossed the halfway mark - I experimented with pushing it a little. I think this is the first race in the last 18 months since all this actually started that I had absolutely no  issues. No shortness of breath, no chest pains, no dizziness, no chest tightness, no left arm pains.. nothing, nada, zero lingering signs of congestive heart failure. As I was pushing along I thought about my mantra - every step a victory  I kept my mind on it as I thoughtfully felt for each step ...

Whew! It's been a crazy few days but I think I'm over another major hurdle. I shared last week about my episode and now that's it is behind me and I can think more clearly I think I have come to some conclusions. First, my last 3 runs have been awesome! And I had a great time last night at taekwondo. No chest pains, no dizziness and even though I took it easy I had no difficulties at all. Well, except the fact that this fat old lady got her big toe caught in the pant leg of her uniform and jerked a toe out. Why can't I have normal injuries or at least noble ones? lol I've been spreading out my runs and it seems to be helping. I only run two days in a row. Overall my new strategies seem to be working but it's all new. I'm committed to the journey at this point and determined to be fit in the midst of personal struggles and physical roadblocks. I'm a thinker and a problem solver. Of course this leads to overthinking most of the time. But over the...

This weekend I got a sitter for my son and my daughter and I went to Indianapolis to attend the wedding of a good friend. There were many significant things that happened during this trip. First of all my daughter has just been diagnosed with fatty liver disease and is hoping to reverse it through diet and exercise. We knew we would have to go in and have sit-down meals to get the freshest and healthiest foods possible while on a road trip. We also took a small ice chest with some fresh fruits and veggies. I'm proud to say we did pretty good overall with almost no "cheat" foods whatsoever. We even went grocery shopping the night we got there so we could have a nice stock and not be tempted to eat out. I bought humus and fresh veggies, but I have to give her credit for keeping me on track. The first container was a small one and came with pretzels. She suggested swapping it out for a larger container of humus and buying some fresh veggies to go with it. I did and we we...

Today I ran my 75th 5K. I didn't check to see how many races I've done overall, just 5Ks. I actually did pretty good. I had the best chip time of any 5k since my CHF diagnosis. I'm still really slow in comparison but I'm very happy to be under 40 minutes again. That just puts me closer to the 30 minute mark and my old PR which I honestly hope to reach one day. This week I did a total of 20 miles and completed my second week of marathon training. I'm very happy with that, but it sure got me to thinking a lot about the journey I've been on. Last year I remember doing this race, the Oklahoma Strong 5K and just not feeling good. I felt like I was very sluggish and it was actually cold last year. This year it was 72 at the beginning of the race - which is really hot for me anymore. Even though I slowed down each mile, I still had all 3 under 13 minute miles. I'll take that for today. I can't get where I want to be without starting where I am. Oh, I woul...

I've decided that my latest mantra is every step a victory  because with each step I take running I am declaring a victory over congestive heart failure. That in no way implies that I am throwing caution to the wind (not that I wouldn't love to do that!) but that every step I take I can cherish as one more that keeps me ahead of the game. I hadn't run since the half on Sunday partly because I have been sore this time and partly because I didn't want to take a chance at overdoing it. One of the things I have planned into my marathon training is taking days off. Days following long runs and even harder runs I'll have scheduled off. I think this is necessary in order to protect myself from overdoing and getting myself in a bind again. So today I went out to grab a couple of easy miles and I did pretty good I think. I didn't try to go fast or hard, just enjoyed the sunshine on my skin and the fresh air in my face. The park behind my house is the perfect place to...

It started out pretty- but by the end I was rethinking why I even run to begin with! lol This was a very unusual race for me. First of all I started out great - had no breathlessness or any of the normal-for-everyone warm up feelings of yuck. Before I knew it, I was at the first mile marker and my Nike app told me I'd done it in just over 11 minutes. I was shocked because I thought I was running at a comfortable pace. For the first 7 miles it was a picture perfect race. I was holding strong and at the 7 mile marker I was at less than an hour and a half. That's nearly monumental for me. Then by mile 8 -close to 9 it all went away. My body decided I'd gone too far too fast and it began to revolt. I decided to push it since I was still in line for a half PR. I know... it was a very bad idea. For the first 6 miles I was under 13 minutes except for mile 3 which was a 13:06. I ended up with a 13:19 minute mile average - which all things considered is not too bad. I had...

Okay - so I have to suck it up and admit that I overdid it yesterday. I actually made several mistakes that I have to correct going forward. I know I should not have run 3 days in a row and  even if  running 3 days in a row was okay - I shouldn't have gone for 6 and a half miles. Live and learn. I've been doing a lot of research about congestive heart failure and one of the signs of overdoing it is actually how you feel the next day. Well, I could tell yesterday afternoon I had OD'd on running. I did recoup pretty good though. However, today has been horrible. I am basically exhibiting all those  dreaded symptoms of CHF. I'm out of breath, have lots of chest pains and feel exhausted. I don't think I realized how much better I've been feeling overall; but it all comes back to me now for sure. With this new information I have a few things to work on. First of all, I need to get a solid marathon training plan instead of just flying by the seat of my pants. I wi...

Even though my cardiologist appointment isn't until next week I have shifted my head to marathon training. I know I said I wasn't going to start until after the OKC half later this month, but I couldn't wait. Besides it gives me a little time to see how I'm going to handle it. My running buddies are not going to back me until I get the "okay" from my cardiologist next week - but I'm sure he's going to okay it. I've learned so much over the last few weeks - about running, training, congestive heart failure, food consumption and myself. Today I had 6 miles scheduled according to the training plan I'm trying out right now. I'm not sure it's going to work for me but I'm checking it out. So I did 3 miles early this morning on the treadmill. It felt great! I had to stop though because I had quite a bit to get done. So then once my son's aide got here I went outside (in the heat) to do another 2-3 miles. I really did well so I ended ...

I took a look at my training calendar last night and was totally disgusted with myself. I'm doing some things right but my running is really behind schedule. I've done some form of exercise almost every single day. Now that might be riding my bike, strength training, or just yoga. But for the last couple of months working out has been an almost daily thing and that's good, I think. But what I saw was that I haven't been getting the miles I need in. Specifically the last three weeks I have had very low miles. That makes me mad. I start to feel that I am not dedicated to the run, I'm a slacker, or I'm falling so far behind I am not going to be able to train for a full marathon. I have to fight those thoughts off and refocus. Before I start beating myself up too much, I want to take a look at what I've done well. First off, I've been eating right. If you don't count the chocolate.  My focus has been on reducing sodium intake and learning how to cook...

One of the most important things I have learned over the last few months is to listen to my body. I have found this very difficult since I got so used to "Push! Push! Push!" But when I began to feel ill when I ran I learned that my body did not always respond to the pushing. Last year when I started having chest pains and retaining water my body started dragging behind. Almost every run was more like dragging a huge, heavy bag of wet tators behind me. It took everything I had to just pick one foot up one at a time and keep my body moving forward. I can't say I have adjusted well to the changes I had to make and I didn't start out really listening to my body very well. But over the last few weeks my running has improved and my stamina has increased. I really have to say some of that is due to making the necessary adjustments and really tuning in to what my body is saying. I find this very frustrating! Why do I find it frustrating? Because I want to just go run or w...

Part of getting ready to start training for a full marathon is getting all my proverbial ducks in a row. A lot still rests on seeing the cardiologist and getting his approval of course. But today I went to have me knee checked about. It's been bothering me for some time. Fortunately it's not anything serious, I just have to baby it for awhile. Mostly, he said it's wear and tear translated means I'm old! But my kneecap is a little too tight - it's not moving correctly. Basically - it's runner's knee. So, treatment means doing some strengthening exercises, icing after workouts, wearing a light brace and taking anti-inflammatory meds. He offered a couple different types of shots - I was like "No!" I don't do shots in a joint! According to the exercises I have to do them until certain criteria is met. I'm a member of a great Facebook running group and they are helping to keep me in line. I've promised them that I'll do the exercises...

That's it! I've decided to train for another full marathon and I'm inviting you along on the journey. For a while I thought I'd be happy just saying I'd done one. But I'm itching to try another now. This week I'll be completing my 15th half marathon and there's just something in me that makes me want to do another full. Maybe it's because so many think I can't. Just recently I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. Yep - you read that right. So far I have been okayed to run. My cardiologist said I can run as long as I have my blood pressure under control. My primary care told me I can run carefully- as long as I don't over-do it and as long as I walk if I am having any issues. So using great wisdom - I push forward. I have a half this weekend and then another in April. I'm becoming "okay" with doing them even if I have to walk a lot for my health's sake. It still gripes me a lot though. Since I've always been a...