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Trying to Refocus Already?

I took a look at my training calendar last night and was totally disgusted with myself. I'm doing some things right but my running is really behind schedule. I've done some form of exercise almost every single day. Now that might be riding my bike, strength training, or just yoga. But for the last couple of months working out has been an almost daily thing and that's good, I think.

But what I saw was that I haven't been getting the miles I need in. Specifically the last three weeks I have had very low miles. That makes me mad. I start to feel that I am not dedicated to the run, I'm a slacker, or I'm falling so far behind I am not going to be able to train for a full marathon. I have to fight those thoughts off and refocus.

Before I start beating myself up too much, I want to take a look at what I've done well. First off, I've been eating right. If you don't count the chocolate. My focus has been on reducing sodium intake and learning how to cook without adding any salt. My taste buds are starting to adjust and I don't have as strong of a need for extra salt. Well, on everything but eggs. I have changed my breakfast totally because I just can't eat my scrambled eggs without salting them! Other than that - I've pretty much adjusted and don't crave or desire salt or salty foods.

My blood pressure has been great when I've taken it. I'm still on my meds (I only take one medication and an aspirin a day.) and I've had no episodes. Actually, it's been a long time since I have had any problems. Well, except for a little bit of fatigue. I have to watch that. With this being said, I have also been concentrating on how I exercise. I'm trying to learn how to give it my best and not overdo it. It's quite the mental game because I am a type A - over achiever. If I don't wear myself out trying I think I haven't given enough effort. But...I'm learning to hold back and spread it out. This allows me to continue to exercise on a daily basis, take it easy and stay in shape without overdoing it.

So I am eating right, taking my meds and exercising smarter. But I'm not running enough. I only had 8 miles last week!! What's that? nothing...

Today I am planning a good run. Hopefully, it will happen outside - that's a lot more enjoyable and productive for my emotional health than the treadmill. I have a 10K coming up this Sunday so I don't want to overdo it before then either. My next half marathon is the last Sunday of this month - the OKC Memorial. I love that race!

A thousand questions crowd my mind when I start thinking about a race. But for today- I will push them out of the way and make it my goal to get in a good 6 to 8 miles at least. I really think I am up for starting 2-a-days. As long as I am smart with it - listen to my body (a huge key) and make adjustments where necessary I think I'll be okay.

Oh - I have the cardiologist appointment this month too...I'm a little apprehensive about that one. I have tons of questions (nothing new, right?) and I am afraid of his answers. But I will deal with it when it comes and I have a lot of ammo ready - since I am learning to manage CHF. Sometimes it feels like it's this dark cloud hanging over my head - I have to deal with it and fight off thoughts every single day. But I'm living with it not just putting up with it. And I'm learning to run with it  not away from it. I got this!


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