Okay so I tested up a belt in taekwondo over the weekend but it brought some emotions with it that caught me off guard. I actually bottomed out after I got home. Of course I was nervous about testing, but I've been told that just shows you care. I did okay and got the new belt....but I got really depressed afterwards. Why? I don't guess I know. The blue belt is the lowest rank of the advanced belts and just one step closer to a black belt. But for some reason instead of encouraging me - I found the opposite to be true. I began to doubt I could get a black belt. Honestly, I just bottomed out. I still have a long ways to go and many things to learn so I have no idea what was eating at me so. I really just felt defeated; with no justification for it. I also keep stalling out on my marathon training but mentally I'm still pursuing it. I know it's going to take longer than it does for most but I am determined to do it right this time. I really think I tried to cram a f...

I've been running but sort of been on a hiatus from racing. It's been a nice break actually but it's been more of a financial decision. But now I'm starting to itch ...ready to get back out there. I was looking at my fall schedule and penciling in some fall races - hoping to get back to a few half marathons this fall. As far as full marathon training, I'm still there mentally, but have a long (very long) way to go physically. I'm hoping for some good half marathons this fall to get my miles back up there so I can slip right into full training. That's the goal anyway. Right now, I've made adjustments and I'm actually doing well - even though I'm not doing a lot of long mile runs. This is very frustrating to me - but life happens. I heard a long time ago that delay is not denial. But I am getting older here.  I'm set my goal now on next year's OKC Memorial Marathon I think. That gives me plenty of halfs between now and then. Now to ge...

The other day my grandson and I took an impromptu tour of a couple of playgrounds close to my apartment. He decided he wanted to run with Gigi.  So we ran! He also got tired and rode on my shoulders for awhile but then was all rested and ready to run again. It was a fun, active evening. Times like those seem like they are so purposeful and meaningful. Unlike many of the training routines athletes cling to. It was so enjoyable to just run with my grandson and have fun without feeling horrible physically. By the time we were headed home he asked me if he could be my running buddy. Of course I told him he could! Who could say no to that face? Here's to many more miles to run! The last few weeks for me have been very discouraging to be honest. (I usually am!) It seems like it's been one thing after another. As most of you know I am a caregiver for my adult son who has a TBI and he suddenly got sick and ended up in the hospital for a few days. Since he is nonverbal I don't l...