This week I did a total of 20 miles and completed my second week of marathon training. I'm very happy with that, but it sure got me to thinking a lot about the journey I've been on. Last year I remember doing this race, the Oklahoma Strong 5K and just not feeling good. I felt like I was very sluggish and it was actually cold last year. This year it was 72 at the beginning of the race - which is really hot for me anymore. Even though I slowed down each mile, I still had all 3 under 13 minute miles. I'll take that for today. I can't get where I want to be without starting where I am. Oh, I would love to be back working on a 10 minutes mile but I can't get there unless I start rebuilding from right here.
All last year I felt horrible, and every race was so difficult. My ankles were swollen, I couldn't breathe, my chest was hurting and I worried myself through all of them and cancelled a lot of my "normal" ones. I didn't do any fall halfs and that's really unusual for me. I know - I should have gone to the doc earlier but I can should on myself all day and not change a thing.
But this week, even though I'm still horribly slow - I am feeling so much better. Every step is truly a victory for me. I feel better, my blood pressure is under control, I rarely have chest pains during a run anymore (usually they start just after though! lol), my ankles are not swollen and I can breathe! Over the last few months I have made lots of changes, many of them uncomfortable like having to take medication and watching my salt intake diligently. But when I cross each finish line I have more assurance that I can do this thing! I will run a marathon (I use the term "run" loosely, lol) with CHF!
This week is the first week in a long time I have made my goals for running and cross training and I am just a little bit excited! Very tired right now - but super excited. One of the songs on my playlist is Queen's We are the Champions. And one phrase that always gets me going is the one that says :
It's been no bed of roses
No pleasure cruise,
I consider it a challenge before the whole human race
and I ain't gonna lose.....
That's how I feel. There are days I just don't have the energy to do anything much and I am learning to deal with it; not always too gracefully or patiently, but learning to take it for what it is and move ahead. I have to space out my runs and work my cross training in between with caution; but I'm determined to beat this thing and I'm gaining ground one small step at a time.
Every Step a Victory!
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