This past weekend was lots of fun. On Friday night, I pushed my son for the first time in his new racing chair. My daughter and I had pushed him in a borrowed one a few weeks back, but this was our first trip out in his own chair. First off, it was hot, hot hot. (We won't do that again!!) It was actually too hot to be safe for either of us and if my friend hadn't helped I would have probably overdone it. Secondly, Chris' chair kept malfunctioning - I gotta make some adjustments for sure. I knew I had to take it easy as the heat and I do not get along any more. My heart rate ran quite a bit higher than I am used to and it stayed up. It wouldn't come down to my "normal" even when walking - even though it really wasn't dangerously high. A lot of it was due to several factors: I have not trained in the heat this year - only on the TM inside I have not been eating right I have not been training right I've gained a little weight back I had not ...

This one sneaked up on me. I knew I wasn't feeling my best, but boy did my body give me a run for the money this morning. After I got off my meds last month I gained about 8 pounds and have only been able to lose a little bit of it. So, it looks like I may need to talk to the cardiologist about going back on the diuretic. I may give it one more week with some major changes to see if it helps first. I felt like I was running (if you wanna stretch and call it running) through mud this morning. I had a spurt or two of feeling "okay" but never did feel good during this race. I kept an eye on my heart rate and it never spiked, but it seemed to have a more difficult time coming back down. It was running a bit higher than normal and taking forever to slow down when I'd start walking. I ended up walking A LOT! Frustrating. The Go Girl itself was very well organized and as always - very well done. Except they changed the course from last year and I swear they did it so t...

Okay, fine. I guess I'm just going to have to be a happy "heart patient." On one of my last visits with my PCP, I argued that I wasn't one, but she just told me we could disagree on that point. Today, for the second time, I asked the cardiologist to reverse the CHF diagnosis. No surprise - it was a "no" again. His nurse did tell me I have the better kind of  CHF though and she agreed with me that it is mild - but must be managed. So I suppose I will just concede and be content to be a heart patient....at the Oklahoma Heart Hospital. Sigh. But there is some real good news today and still a few modifications to be made. He had all the results from my tests they did last week. The worst of it is not really all that bad - but several things that just need to be closely monitored. I guess I'll be making more trips out to OHH. I do have a leaky valve but it's not bad - just gotta keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't get worse on me. My blood...

So this week I'm taking it easy at the urging of my running buddies. They are tougher on me than my cardiologist or PCP, but I respect them. They are experienced and are looking at my present health issues from an objective point of view. I, on the other hand, are raring to go! That's what makes it wise to listen to others - there's a proverb that says there is safety in a multitude of counselors. I'm seeing the wisdom in that - even though I'm squirming to get back out there and see what I can do! So, now that I'm feeling better I have had a lot of time to think. The trouble with feeling better (not that I mind...) is that it makes it easy to forget how sick you were. I'm trying to sort everything out - my head, emotions, running, my life.... Earlier this week I decided to get online and find some evidence that would support me NOT having congestive heart failure. I mean, really, does it make any sense that I would have CHF and not have heart damage o...

I just finished up a 5K and had a blast! I was a little concerned about the heat tonight but it broke right before the race started and there was a breeze so it didn't end up being much of a factor. This is the first race I've done since I stopped taking the blood pressure meds. And you know what? I felt great!!! One thing I wanted to do was listen to my body and I really don't know how it's going to act  until I get on the course. I walked quite a bit and went out slow. Once I got warmed up and crossed the halfway mark - I experimented with pushing it a little. I think this is the first race in the last 18 months since all this actually started that I had absolutely no  issues. No shortness of breath, no chest pains, no dizziness, no chest tightness, no left arm pains.. nothing, nada, zero lingering signs of congestive heart failure. As I was pushing along I thought about my mantra - every step a victory  I kept my mind on it as I thoughtfully felt for each step ...

Well, it's off and in the mail on its way to the cardiologist. I called the nurse today and she had me send my blood pressure and pulse for the last two weeks in so the doctor can look it over. I confessed that I never started the blood pressure meds again even though my pulse came back up. I promised to monitor my blood pressure closely if he will "okay" me staying off the meds. Fingers crossed and hoping! The second test came when I jumped on the treadmill this afternoon to get in a 10 miler. I lived! Actually, I don't know when I've done that many on the treadmill before but I did it today. I felt pretty strong for almost the whole run and still feel fine now. This was a big test for me - of course I don't always know until the next day if it's an overdo or not -- have to wait 'til morning. I can't believe the energy I've had and been able to maintain. I've also continued to take it a little easier than I would want to but for righ...

Tonight I was supposed to run the first 5K of one summer series I wanted to do. Well I had to opt out and to say I'm frustrated is a huge understatement. I had to go with what I felt was the wisest decision - the one that would be more likely to keep me running for a long time to come. It certainly hasn't been easy but at least I'm still vertical and no one's told me not to run. Here's how it all came down. As you know I've been struggling with running and just kept pushing forward unwilling to accept my diagnosis but trying to make adjustments to allow for it at the same time. Crazy right? Well - this week my charade caught up with me. I decided to go to the doc and tell her that I was trying to deny I had CHF. Basically, I went in and came clean with her and aired out my frustrations with the cardiologist who didn't call me back. Well, I certainly got busted. But it's going to work out for the best if I'm good.  And I plan on being good! My...

Whew! It's been a crazy few days but I think I'm over another major hurdle. I shared last week about my episode and now that's it is behind me and I can think more clearly I think I have come to some conclusions. First, my last 3 runs have been awesome! And I had a great time last night at taekwondo. No chest pains, no dizziness and even though I took it easy I had no difficulties at all. Well, except the fact that this fat old lady got her big toe caught in the pant leg of her uniform and jerked a toe out. Why can't I have normal injuries or at least noble ones? lol I've been spreading out my runs and it seems to be helping. I only run two days in a row. Overall my new strategies seem to be working but it's all new. I'm committed to the journey at this point and determined to be fit in the midst of personal struggles and physical roadblocks. I'm a thinker and a problem solver. Of course this leads to overthinking most of the time. But over the...

What a week this has been! My take-away from the last 7 days is that hindsight is not  20/20. My experiences have fostered more questions than answers this week. First - on a good note- I did pass my testing and am now a purple belt in taekwondo. One more testing period (8-10 weeks) and I'll be an advanced belt! Who thought this fat senior would ever get this far? lol I will have to admit that I had a rough time this week in taekwondo - just didn't feel good. My instructor babysat me though. She kept an eye out for me and kept reminding me to sit out if I didn't feel well. Like I'm going to sit out.  I made it. So I have been doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm taking my medications exactly as prescribed, I don't like that but I'm doing it. I'm taking my blood pressure almost  every day and it's been within the right range - a little at the top of the "okay" range - and I'd like it down a bit more - but not high by any m...

This weekend I got a sitter for my son and my daughter and I went to Indianapolis to attend the wedding of a good friend. There were many significant things that happened during this trip. First of all my daughter has just been diagnosed with fatty liver disease and is hoping to reverse it through diet and exercise. We knew we would have to go in and have sit-down meals to get the freshest and healthiest foods possible while on a road trip. We also took a small ice chest with some fresh fruits and veggies. I'm proud to say we did pretty good overall with almost no "cheat" foods whatsoever. We even went grocery shopping the night we got there so we could have a nice stock and not be tempted to eat out. I bought humus and fresh veggies, but I have to give her credit for keeping me on track. The first container was a small one and came with pretzels. She suggested swapping it out for a larger container of humus and buying some fresh veggies to go with it. I did and we we...

What a frustrating week this has been! On one hand it was good since the cardiologist okayed marathon training. But my body has been saying "no" ever since! I really wish  this could just go away. Someone told me one time to wish in one hand and spit in the other and see which one fills up faster.  Well, I'm guessing that this is not going to disappear so I'll have to learn how to deal with it. I hate feeling like my runs are a fight to take every step and every breath. My runs and workouts this week felt like I had a boa around my chest compressing my lungs; and it felt like I was dragging an elephant behind me. Some days I had chest pains to go along with it - or even worse in my opinion is chest pains after finishing a good workout. Today I felt a lot better. Who knows what is actually going on with my body to make me feel horrible or good? Today's 3+ miles was pretty good and I wore my PEAR sports heart monitor to watch my heart rate. I started my higher d...

Today I finished my 113th race and my 15th race at the 10K distance. It's funny now that I have finished a couple of half marathons (okay 15 to be exact - 2 post CHF diagnosis) I think of a 10K and a 5K as a "just" race. It's "just a 5K" or today it was "just a 10K." Even with all my questions about how I'm going to feel it's like I know I will finish, period. I may be dragging my sorry, tired old butt across the finish line at midnight - but the question isn't  "am I going to finish?" Something that happened during the race today caught me off guard. I was running/walking about mile 4.5 or so and a group of teenage cheerleaders were trying to cheer everyone on. They said, "you can do it!" and I was like, "Of course I can do it. Why would I be out here if I didn't think I could do it." I was sort of surprised by my matter-of-factness. Of course I didn't say that out loud because I knew they were...

I took a look at my training calendar last night and was totally disgusted with myself. I'm doing some things right but my running is really behind schedule. I've done some form of exercise almost every single day. Now that might be riding my bike, strength training, or just yoga. But for the last couple of months working out has been an almost daily thing and that's good, I think. But what I saw was that I haven't been getting the miles I need in. Specifically the last three weeks I have had very low miles. That makes me mad. I start to feel that I am not dedicated to the run, I'm a slacker, or I'm falling so far behind I am not going to be able to train for a full marathon. I have to fight those thoughts off and refocus. Before I start beating myself up too much, I want to take a look at what I've done well. First off, I've been eating right. If you don't count the chocolate.  My focus has been on reducing sodium intake and learning how to cook...