Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Passing One Test at a Time

Well, it's off and in the mail on its way to the cardiologist. I called the nurse today and she had me send my blood pressure and pulse for the last two weeks in so the doctor can look it over. I confessed that I never started the blood pressure meds again even though my pulse came back up. I promised to monitor my blood pressure closely if he will "okay" me staying off the meds. Fingers crossed and hoping!

The second test came when I jumped on the treadmill this afternoon to get in a 10 miler. I lived! Actually, I don't know when I've done that many on the treadmill before but I did it today. I felt pretty strong for almost the whole run and still feel fine now. This was a big test for me - of course I don't always know until the next day if it's an overdo or not -- have to wait 'til morning.

I can't believe the energy I've had and been able to maintain. I've also continued to take it a little easier than I would want to but for right now it's just the way it's got to be. I've been nearly a saint with my eating. Even today after running 10 miles I was a little tempted to eat some enchiladas in the freezer - but it was fleeting. It's just not worth it from here.

A friend said something today that keeps ringing in my ears. I told my online running group about sending the info to the doc and waiting to hear back. She stressed how important it is to be honest with myself about this whole thing. My mind still says I don't have CHF. I'm not really accepting it yet. I think it's a misdiagnosis and I'm setting out to prove it! lol But it really is important to be honest with myself.

As I thought back today about this journey and where I was a year ago, I realize how important it is to tell myself the truth. Back then I was lying to myself, telling myself it wasn't that bad. I was trying to deal with symptoms from a position that nothing was wrong. All the time my ankles kept swelling up horribly. I did a race last year about this time in the heat of the summer, ankles hugely swollen, and having chest pains all along the way. How stupid was that? I can't do that kind of stuff again if I plan on beating this thing - and I'm planning on beating this thing! I have to see my symptoms in an honest light as I evaluate and reevaluate my health all along the way.

Isn't that a large part of life? We have to grow as we age and to grow we have to learn. But it has to be done in an honest light. Otherwise it is not true growth. I want to grow as a person. Hopefully, I am learning to truly listen to my body and make the necessary adjustments. To be honest, I don't know what I'll do if the cardiologist has a problem with me being off the meds....cause I really feel better and I had no idea how bad I had actually been feeling.  Waiting......

But for today - I took 10 miles worth of steps- and each step was a victory!

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