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It Takes a Village

Is it a sin that I want to just throw on my running shoes, tie them up and go out for a run? It sure seems like my body is fighting that this week. I've "been good" in that I have taken it easy and I've eaten right (mostly). I learned early on that there is a lot more mental work needed to be a runner than I ever imagined. But complicate that process with a chronic condition and boy do I have to think a lot!

Right now one of the most difficult mental challenges I'm facing is trying to schedule my workouts and runs. Since I never know how cooperative my body is going to be on any given day, it's hard to say that I'm going to do my "long run" today. Yesterday I figured I still wanted to get 20 miles this week and I had two days to do it. I needed 6 miles to get to 20.  I headed out for a run thinking I'd try for 4 which would leave just 2 to finish off on Saturday. My butt was dragging the whole way so I only got 3. And for now, I just have to be okay with that and with the fact that at least I can run. No doctor has told me that I shouldn't run - they have told me to take it easy and that I can't run like I did before - whatever that means!

There's so much to think about running in general but especially since I want to start full marathon training. Plus I really want to do some obstacle courses too. Why not? It's not like there isn't a lot of serious planning that any runner has to do to complete a marathon, but I have all of the regular things to think about plus dealing with congestive heart failure. Tons of questions accompany that like:


  • What if I don't feel well on a day a long run is scheduled?
  • Will I be able to keep up with the mileage demands?
  • Is my heart really okay with all this?
  • How am I going to fuel this adventure?
And the list goes on...and on.

In general, I am a very independent person and I rarely ask for help. However, I am trying to learn to ask for help. I'm finding that it is really taking a village to keep this runner running. I'm a member of Coach Jenny Hadfield's challenge group on Facebook and my friends there have been instrumental in keeping me on track. They encourage me when I'm down, and yell at me when I overdo it - or when I cheat on my diet. I've also been reprimanded for despising walking! lol... seriously! Overall my friends there really help me stay focused and balanced - which helps a lot. 

I'm talking to a dietitian who is going to help me sort out my dietary needs. I want to fuel my runs and workouts plus lose a little bit of weight. Plus, I want to eat right so I feel better. I still have to talk to my cardiologist about all this next month. I'm also considering counseling to help deal with emotional eating. So I am talking everything over with lots of people who are willing to help. Even though I feel alone sometimes - I'm no where near all alone. I'm surrounded by tons of people who are going to help me reach my goals. I'll call it my personal village.  The important thing for me is to remember that I have to keep open communication with those who are helping me - and I have to listen. 

So I guess you could say that I am in the middle of making tons of changes in the way that I do basically everything. I'm trying not to change too much all at once but make them more gradual. Probably the worst part is how frustrated I get especially when my body just says "no." But I will get there - and I'm not going alone.



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