Saturday, April 11, 2015

Will it Ever End?

My head is going about 900 miles an hour! That may or may not be an exaggeration. I have a 10k tomorrow afternoon but with the last year's events and the latest diagnosis my head starts running long before the race. I have all these questions like Will I be okay this time? or Will I have a rough day tomorrow or a good day? What will I do if I'm having an issue? How much will I need to walk?

These are all on top of the "normal" questions runners have prior to races. You know, like figuring out what to eat when and sorting through all our regular pre-race rituals. This race is an afternoon race so that by itself has its own dynamic. One second I feel prepared for anything and the next I do not. I worry that I've overdone it - then worry that I didn't train enough. - Just normal racing stuff!

Add all the health issues on top of the normal stuff and my mind is a mess. lol!

I have actually done well this week with my eating and I think I have finally adjusted my thinking along with my habits. I don't have a taste for salt and other than craving that burger earlier this week I haven't had crazy cravings for salt or junk foods. I have my friends and family trained now - and since they care for me they are careful about what they bring me now. I've made all sorts of cool foods this week - all with no added salt. I kinda got tired of chili beans and Spanish rice. I've added some meat dishes in and as long as I stay clear of the cheese I do well. One day I had too much cheese (I know it has about 170 mg of sodium per ounce) and the next morning I had gained a couple pounds.

That's one of the things I've learned - to weigh myself every morning. It lets me know how well my body is handling water content and salt. Too much salt and I gain weight - otherwise I stay about the same or lose. I've actually lost 10 pounds since I started really watching the salt. I also watch my ankles since they tend to swell. That's one thing that has me worrying about tomorrow too. It's supposed to be about 79 tomorrow afternoon. I know heat is difficult - I just have to remember to adjust for the heat too. It seems like I am having to adjust to a lot of things. But I'm determined to win.

I don't know if it will get any easier to plan for running and races or not - but I'm not inclined to give up. I have to "run the race that is set before me." That I intend to do for sure. We will see what tomorrow's race brings - I'll work with whatever my body has to give me.

This week I go back to the cardiologist - I am hoping he will okay my marathon training goals. I know it's really going to be touch-and-go. It's not like a "normal" runner who can decide to start marathon training and just pick an appropriate plan and get started. Every day can bring a setback. That messes with my head as well as my body. I'm doing what I am supposed to be doing and I'm ready to move forward with the plan. Got my fingers crossed the doc will approve.

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