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Kinda Frustrating Really

So today I had one of the worst days I've had in awhile. I actually haven't felt really good all week long. I was excited to get out and get a run in since it was my first "official" run to begin my marathon training even though I haven't settled on a good plan yet. I'm still looking and tweaking to see what's going to work best. That's okay since I planned on starting after I finish the OKC half here in another week or so. I'm thinking I have a little time yet to decide.

I did get in 3 miles this morning - well it was early afternoon really. It was a little warm but the clouds made it bearable for the most part. I just felt so sluggish. My chest was really uncomfortable but by about mile 1.5 I started feeling better. I still didn't push it much because I really don't  want to overdo it. I know that causes the biggest setbacks in training and in how I feel. Actually, I'm not real sure why I don't feel real good now. I've been mostly good with my diet although I had relaxed for a day or so and enjoyed some girl scout cookies. I think that was bad. I returned to a very strict diet today and in some ways I think I am better.

I did have a bad night last night. My heart woke me up at 3 in the morning. I can't explain it - it's just like it is beating hard or something. So tonight I'm trying my regular dose of meds - didn't get the higher dose filled yet anyway. We'll see if that makes a difference. I have to try the larger dose for 2 weeks. Guess I'll try it later.

Tonight I also went to taekwondo. I try to keep my miles low on the days I know I have TKD. That wasn't difficult to do since I didn't feel all that good today. Tonight in class I felt horrible. My chest is just so tight. I actually had to stop doing burpees. It's not like I do them all that well anyway - but I really didn't feel good and was too out of breath for me. So I stopped at 15 buddy burpees instead of 25. I hate that... I want to feel good enough to keep up with my classes. It was a rough one - haven't had a rough one like that in awhile.

Even though it was a tough day I think I staying in my boundaries and pushed as much as possible. I know it is important to keep pushing but equally important to not overdo it. While running today I was thinking about when I started running and how many things I've learned along the way. Today I worked on breathing correctly - somehow those basics are forgotten (or ignored) along the way sometimes. Another thing I was thinking about was how my whole body has to slow down to accommodate my heart at this point. Just because it's not working as efficiently as it's supposed to my whole body is affected.It takes the whole body participating whether I'm jogging along nicely or just trying to catch my breath as I creep along. I don't leave even one little part at home and come back for it later. lol

So many times I think of myself as so super independent - but in reality I'm like my body - I need a lot of people to get this thing done. None of us are really self-sufficient even though we like to think we are. We can do only so much but we need so many other parts to get along. So I will take it easy and wait for my heart to catch up! But today I got in a 3 mile run and an hour of taekwondo. I will beat this thing - the right way! And I'll try to not get so frustrated -- it doesn't really help me feel any better...you know?

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