I've Never Done that Before

My weights and other exercise equipment (yes, there's more in my room!) are going to be my new best friend and running buddy. How do I know? I'm dedicated to the journey.

Change is not the easiest thing for me because in general I am a very structured person. Most of my life I could organize things like I like them and then leave them there for...well, forever. After my doc visits last week I have been put in a position to really do some soul searching once again and determine what I want as a runner, an athlete and just as a person in general. I have found some major change is necessary. What sounds simple is very difficult for a Type A like me.

So far my blood pressure has been good - a little on the high side of normal but not bad. And my pulse has been good too. It now runs in the mid 50s. My diet has been totally inside the zone (except for some cake and ice cream yesterday at my sister and mother's birthday party- but those are still low sodium, right?) Seriously I have my diet under control and am not even tempted to cheat when it comes to watching the salt. I am maintaining my weight right now with literally no water weight gain in about 3 days so that's all good. I think I am more determined and I'm so close to being off these meds I want to do all that I can to stay off. But - I also have to be content to go back on a lower dose should that be necessary. Which means I have to pay more attention than ever to my body. I've never done that before.

This morning when I was working out I was aware of other changes in my thinking taking place. I'm kind of high strung in case you hadn't noticed and my brain goes a hundred miles an hour - I wake up thinking about lots of things all at the same time. But I think I am learning to slow myself down. For example, I set the timer for 10 minutes - that's all the strength training I'm letting myself do right now. My goal is to go forward very gently and easily. I caught myself pushing to see how many times I could make the rounds in my little weight circuit. My breathing was crazy because I was so out of breath. My heart was beating out of my chest, lol. I stopped to catch my breath. Then I realized I had automatically started slowing myself down inside and out. I took the pressure to perform off myself and became content with just doing whatever was reasonable for me to do in 10 minutes. I've never done that before.

As I've made the dietary changes and attitude changes as well - I actually feel like I have more energy. Which is challenging because I want to go and push those limits. But I contain myself. I'm seeing my whole way of thinking change. I'm changing. And I'm actually okay with it.

When I was on a missions trip to Jamaica years ago one of our mottoes was change is my friend. While I am usually and naturally resistant to change, I think I am liking the changes I'm seeing in myself. I think I have myself together once again to move forward with my training. Onward toward the next challenge, slowly of course. But no matter how fast or how slow every step is a victory.

Hello - It's Been Awhile

I am sorry, I had to take a break and get myself focused. However, I haven't stopped, and I've been quite busy really. There's been a lot going on and honestly, I've been living out the every step's a victory mantra. There's been lots of struggles and tons of ups and downs. But I have to say each step toward a healthy, whole life is still victorious. As a matter of fact, revisiting that is why I decided to get the blog back up and going again. I did get a website set up, you can check it out if you'd like. I still have to get the blog up and going on the site It won't be like this one, it will have more general information about healthy eating, exercising and things that are not as much about my own journey, it'll be more educational. Check out the Every Step's A Victory site and let me know what you think so far. For me life continues to be a struggle, I think that may hold true for most people who deal with a chronic condition. It seem...

Cardiologist Update

So I guess I'm just going to have to get used to going to cardiologists and doctors. My primary care sent me to a cardiologist at the Oklahoma Heart Hospital. I think I like this guy (as much as I can like docs). He was very kind, and looked me in the eye when he was talking with me and I liked that. Of course I gave them my standard "abnormal but not bad" EKG. I also explained about my meds and how the other doc wouldn't call me back. He told me not to trust a doctor who didn't call you back. (I was surprised.) He said it's an integrity issue and it sends the signal that they don't care when they don't call you back. I agreed. At the end of the appointment - he gave me a gentle hug and promised to take good care of me. That was nice I thought. (Even though I'm not too keen on "being taken care of.") My blood pressure was great- didn't even mention taking meds for that. I have to say that's a HUGE win. I believe the drastic ...

Cowtown Challenge Done!

This was one awesome weekend! I did finish the Cowtown Challenge by doing a 5K on Saturday and a half marathon on Saturday. In between I rode bikes around with one of my friends. I enjoyed the camaraderie of all the runners and the general atmosphere around the Cowtown is just awesome - Oh - and I met Jeff Galloway himself! He is so kind and encouraging - just like Mark Bravo. I really felt very under-trained for this particular event. I hadn't run much in the last two weeks and had only done one 9+ miler in the last month. I usually have a few 10 milers in, but not this time. But - it all worked out. One of the biggest struggles I have is simply not knowing what my body is going to do on any given day. I have to keep my attitude straight and just be "okay" with whatever I have to work with. Doing a race while traveling adds another struggle - trying to eat out without taking in too much salt. Hey- the struggle is real! One night we ate at Chili's and I asked fo...

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