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Walking a Thin Line

What a week - and it's only half done. So last Sunday I did a 10K and did very well - I placed third in my age group and was proud of that. Don't get too excited, that doesn't mean I was moving too fast at all. But I felt strong and I felt great the whole time. Miles were real close to 12 minute miles and I like that. It gave me hope of getting back down to an 11 minute mile eventually.

So after the race I had some time left and grabbed a couple of very easy - barely running miles. It felt so good to be out in the sunny but cool weather. And I especially liked not having any difficulties.

Tuesday I decided I'd get out for a couple miles. In my heart I knew I better keep it slow, easy and short. But the weather was so nice.... I just kept going until I was at a little over 4.5 miles. I felt so good and enjoyed it so much....then came the afternoon. I bottomed out - not sure exactly what happened but my body sent me some definite signals that I'd overdone it. Fatigue sat in and I'm still trying to shake it.

I'm in such a frustrating spot. For one, I am making progress but have to sit out a day or two. I also don't know what overdoing it looks like until it's too late. Well, if I'm totally honest with myself - I knew to hold it to just a couple miles and do longer runs later in the week. I walk this fine thin line between trying to be smart and flat giving up.

Seriously, do I have what it takes to do another marathon? If 4 or 5 miles knocks me on my butt what would a marathon look like? On the other hand, I've done half marathons and done well. There doesn't seem to be any reason to not try a full - with the proper training. Which isn't going well at this time. Normally I would push past it all and go for a run to shake it out - but I can't risk overdoing....again. So here I sit between give up  and push through. Tough spot for me.

I'm thinking there has to be a balance in there somewhere. I don't like being sidelined - I don't like having to admit I have a chronic condition - I just want to run. Starting to feel like a caged animal. and I don't like it.

Giving up is really not an option. So I will move forward...slowly. Somehow I'll find the right combination. I will keep going and I will win...

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