Saturday, September 12, 2015

Lots going on in my mind today. I ran a 10K this morning. It's the first I've done of this length in awhile. Overall it went very well. There was plenty of time before the race so I did a slow and easy .8 mile so my miles for the day would round out to 7. Actually, this race felt very good. I think it even surprised me. I'm getting a little faster (not really the primary focus) but I am feeling better while doing it (the primary focus)!

I'm on track for the half next month if I get to do it. Then I will keep my miles up after that to continue preparing for a full marathon. I'm pretty happy with my progress though it's been slow. Progress is progress after all.

So this week has been a rough one for me. I've gotten myself into a tight spot and I'm trying to make the best choices I can with what I have to work with. I had just about talked myself into quitting taekwondo. So a good friend came over this week and we talked it out and she got me to thinking.

It comes down to the fact that I feel like I'm no good at it. I feel old, fat and slow. The kicks are way out of my abilities and honestly I just started thinking I couldn't meet the requirements for obtaining a black belt. Seriously? It's not like testing is tomorrow.

From there I thought back to when I first became single and started back to college as a single parent of two young children. I was scared then too; and afraid of failure. I asked myself what I did. I worked harder. I knew I was at a disadvantage - just like I am in TKD. I had been out of school for years and not that good of a student when I had been in school years before. So I tightened up my belt and studied more than most felt necessary. I had to make up for the lack (which actually only existed in my own mind). I worked hard and kept my mind in the game until I got my BS in Education.

Same thing when my son had his wreck and I knew I had to make a living from home to be able to take care of him. It was a difficult situation but I kept working it until I eventually had my own business and am still eating! lol

My point is that when it gets tough - I just get tougher. I roll up my sleeves - take on the challenge and hit it hard. So..... I think I'm going to stay with taekwondo for awhile. It really fits nicely in my lifestyle and is perfect XT for running. So this week I have to double up my classes to catch up and give it the ole college try! to get where I want to be - I have to work hard...harder.

So overall I'm feeling LOTS better - feeling more healthy and more fit.... I decided today my new motto to go with my old one is : walk it or rock it - but finish it.

Every step a victory!

Saturday, September 5, 2015

No More PPPs for Me!


Finished up a local 5K this morning. It was the Brookhaven Run's 30th year and more than 1000 signed up for it. That's pretty good for a local race. I hope race directors take notice that if you build a good race and stay consistent runners will come!

This was a definitive race for me. I started by having a personal pity party (PPP). My mind was running through all of my struggles and challenges. Sometimes it seems like I have more than my share to bear in life and most of the challenges are not removable; some I literally cannot do anything about. Except overcome them.

I got a nice pace going and felt like I was actually holding back a little to use the first mile to rest and then when I got to the first mile my Nike app told me my time was 11:49 - I sure didn't feel like I was doing a sub 12! That actually encouraged me to hold that pace. I got close to it too as the official time showed me at a 12:01 average pace. It ended up being my fastest this year - and since my CHF diagnosis. That makes me smile.

Once I got past the first mile and realized I was feeling so much better and moving a lot faster than I felt, then I decided to get my mind straight. I thought there are 1000 runners - and 1000 of them overcame their own challenges to be here running this race today. There were several wheelchair athletes, and one man running with a prosthetic leg - those were visible. No one knows all I had to do to make sure I was there this morning - and I don't know what others endured to be there. But we all have our own challenges. I started thinking about all  the others possibly fighting invisible illness like mine maybe some are diabetics, cancer patients or survivors, or dealing with any other variety of illness. And maybe there are other caregivers on the course, or someone going through major life changes like a loss of a loved one, losing their job or going through a divorce. We are all dealing with something - and yet we run!

I thought about how this time last year I was grounded and forced to rest. I felt good today. I felt strong (for a fat old lady!). I felt proud. I'm enduring. I may have to adjust, adapt and advance; but I'm moving forward. This was nowhere near my actual PR for a 5K - but it was the best I've done since I started getting ill almost 2 years ago. I'll take it as my second PR! lol

Let me share one other thing. I had a friend - a true friend - who called me last night. She asked me a question about my health and my answer told her a lot. She "yelled" at me without ever raising her voice. She asked me some hard questions and I honestly felt like a kid caught with their hands in the cookie jar. I appreciate my friends who see past my "I'm okay." She ended up getting a full blown confession out of me - about how lax I've been with my eating of late. I don't mind taking correction from a true friend who doesn't play any games, don't take my surface blow-off answer and digs past all that to find out what's really going on. Accountability at its finest! lol

So today is another new day for me.I'm recharged and ready to go once again. I thought about how all our Bible heroes faced challenges too. Actually, every Bible character had their own set of challenges and difficulties - there's not even one that didn't face struggles. That's why we admire them - they held to their faith even in the face of adversity. They kept moving until the race was run. I can do that.

Progress is progress- and every step's a victory! 
(Oh - and I'm winning)